Monday, January 18, 2010

Scene: Dinnertime at the Tig house. The family is gathered around the table.

Jana: The funniest thing happened to me at school today. I was walking into Wescoe, and...
Charlotte: Mama? Mama? Mama? I wanted chocolate milk. Is this chocolate milk?
Jana: No, honey. It's just milk.
Charlotte: But I wanted chocolate milk!
Jana: Chocolate milk has too much sugar, honey. Milk is good for your bones, remember?
Jeff: So, what now? You were walking into Wescoe?
Jana: Yeah, I was walking...
Sam, pointing: Dis? Dis? DIS!?
Jana: You want some water, Sam? Here you go.
Sam takes drink, spits half of it out onto his highchair, screams.
Jana: More cheese, Sam? Here you go.
Charlotte: Dada? Dada? Dada? Dada?
Jeff: What, Charlotte?
Charlotte: you know what "bleeepurptabut" means?
Jeff: No, what does it mean?
Charlotte: I don't know! You tell me!
Jeff: I don't think it's a real...
Charlotte: Dada? Dada? Dada?
Jeff: What, Charlotte?
Charlotte: I think it's maybe a kind of small animal thing.
Jeff: Oh, really?
Sam: DIS!!!!
Jana: What do you need, Sam? Another bite?
Sam: Mmm.
Jana: Okay, so, I was walking into Wescoe, and I saw one of my students from last semester, and...
Jana: Oh, an animal?
Charlotte: I think it's an animal that says "SKREEEEEEEE!"
Jeff: Oh, that's too loud, honey.
Charlotte: SKREEEEEEE!
Sam and Charlotte, laughing: SKREEEEEE!
Jana: Okay, guys, okay, let's try to use our inside voices.
Jeff: So, a student from last semester?
Jana: Yeah, and she looked lost, so I...
Charlotte: Mama? Mama? Mama?
Jana: Yes, sweetie?
Charlotte: Mama, I tooted on my hand.
Sam: Dis? Mmm. Dis? Mmm. DIS?!
Jana: What do you say, Charlotte?
Charlotte: Excuse me!
Sam, dropping food on the ground: Uh-aaaaaoh.
Jeff: No no, Sam.
Sam shakes his head "no," drops more food.
Jana: Are you all done, Sam?
Charlotte: I don't like this food. I want some waffles. I'm not hungry. I'm tired.
Sam: Uh-aaaaaoh!
Jana: Do you want...
Jeff: So what were...
Charlotte: I wanna go to bed!

Goodnight, everyone.


Accidents said...

Oh man, I'm dying. We are nowhere near this, not having an equivalent to Charlotte around here, but our dinner was a hot mess tonight as well (wrote a bit about it in the latest Food Week post). In addition to inscrutable food preferences and messy refusals, Hank shouted DAT! DAT! and pointed at everything, to which I would say "Do you want this water/milk/food/cracker/etc." to which he would go "JAAAAAAA" (we're not sure if he is actually saying "yeah" or if we're imagining things, he also nods yes, but not consistently enough to judge) or insistently point at it more, and then, when, I'd give him the alleged object of his desire he'd just throw it on the floor immediately. AND SCENE.

Emily said...

Oh, this is so accurate. Every night at our house.

Finally I'll look at Joe and say, "turns out, it's a short story, not important, and so...nevermind."


Betcha didn't know I was reading your blog. :)

Jana said...

Emily: No, I did not! Hello, and welcome!

Accidents: I am imagining a meeting between Hank and Sam, where they shout DIS and DAT at each other, shaking and/or nodding their heads while flinging food to the floor.

Dale Deur said...


Perpetua said...

Ooh, if you don't mind, I'll send Elliott to that meeting too. Maybe seeing other kids eat will convince him to hoover their leavings off of the floor. :)

JSK said...

Jana, often your blog sells me on the idea of children. This one, not so much. :)

Miz Jean said...

Oh I had a good laugh. Here's to the days of parenting where it takes you 48 hours to effectively tell your spouse a short story about your day.